Long Overdue Update

First of all, THINGS HAVE BEEN GOOD!  I know I have not posted in over a year, but I am alive.  

The recovery from the ileostomy reversal went well.  I will admit, it was a good thing I insisted on having adult diapers with me on the road trip home from the hospital in St. Louis.  I lasted about an hour into the 5 hour long drive before needing to change myself.  My bowels took the full 5-6 weeks of estimated time off to regulate.  The first week was the most difficult.  The second week was pretty easy until that Saturday when I had an "Oh shit, run to the bathroom now!" moment.  I had been hoping that those moments were over with since that week had been so smooth up until that point.  I had a few video calls with my gastroenterologist who was happy with my recovery and wished me the best.  She was one of the best doctors I have ever had the pleasure of experiencing.  She was the right amount of professional and tough love.

Once my deportation site of Fredrick was no longer pulling as much from the internal stitches, I was ready to try and solve my secondary infertility issues.  I went back to my OBGYN here in Louisville to see what she thought.  I had another Fluoro Hysterosalpingogram to make sure my remaining fallopian tube was open and ready for business, which it was.  The doctor was perplexed as to why I was still not getting pregnant.  Some hormone tests were performed (and then some more at the encouragement of a Naturopath) and the OBGYN realized that I was not ovulating every month, which is not unusual when you are functioning with a single working fallopian tube and ovary on one side.  We settled on prescribing me a ovulation inducing medication (Femara) which I started last November.

My prayers were partially answered when I took an at-home pregnancy test in December that had a positive result.  It all made sense, the tender breasts and more sensitive nose paired with the lack of menstrual cycle.  My husband and I were giddy and joyful for that week.  All this time, I had refrained from donating my diaper bag or hand-me-down baby clothes from my now 6 year old daughter's younger years.  Before I could even schedule a follow-up appointment with the OBGYN to confirm the results of the at-home test, I started spotting.  It was Christmas Eve and I knew that it was not going to stick.  My husband was optimistic, but I knew.  It is roughly 1 in 4 pregnanies will end in miscarriage, if the mother even realized that she was pregnant at all.  I went to midnight Mass that evening experiencing the heaviest bleeding I have ever experienced during any of my menstrations to date.  Tylenol was at the ready!  Did you know, one of the lesser known symptoms of  miscarriage is diarrhea?  I sure didn't as we were opening Christmas gifts at my in-laws that evening!  It was a bittersweet Christmas for sure.  I was grateful that the previous year had wrapped up my surgeries associated with cleaning up the Endometriosis wreaking havoc on my body.  I was also grateful that I was seemingly able to get pregnant at all.  But it still emotionally and mentally hurt that I still was not able to have another baby in my arms in the foreseeable future. 

Since December, I have been following the Femara instructions regiment instructed by the OBGYN.  We upped the dosage in February or April.  No  change.  The Naturopath I communicated with a few times reminded me that it takes time to heal from the surgeries I had.  And I am well aware that there is a lot of scar tissue that I have that is likely affecting my fertility as well.  But I hope and pray that God will provide me with another miracle child like my first.   Seriously, with what I was experiencing at the time I got pregnant with my now 6 year old, my husband and I don't know how we got pregnant besides through God's grace.  Despite my infertility frustration, life is currently good.  I have no other complaints. 

My next step will likely be finding a new Napro doctor.  Not only was the previous specialist to far a drive for routine appointments, but he left that practice and started his own fertility clinic (good for him!) which is out of network with most medical insurance providers.  Also, I need to get into an exercise routine and meal prep mindset to better myself mentally and physically.  My Endo has been in check, but an improved lifestyle change would aid in keeping it that way.  Like most people, I am taking each day as it comes and being thankful for what I do have.